I found a good one!!!

In my current mindset- I say go for what makes you happy. It is MUCH easier said then done- but we all might one day wake up and realize we missed life. We were given options and chances- but maybe we let them slip because we are afraid- or lazy-or complacent- or whatever- but if we don't look out for ourselves- who will?

Gin,

Thanks. I am trying to be happy. I don't want to wake up and have missed anymore of my life. This may sound wrong. I have all the issues of someone else and more. So the question remains, since I have to be the bad one, am I a bad person?

EngineGirl22 wrote:Gin,

Thanks. I am trying to be happy. I don't want to wake up and have missed anymore of my life. This may sound wrong. I have all the issues of someone else and more. So the question remains, since I have to be the bad one, am I a bad person?

The short answer is no.

Looking deeper, the fact of the matter is, it takes two to make a relationship work...ANY relationship, not just romantic ones. AND, if one person is feeling less that loved/appreciated/cared for, and the other person has no interest in helping to fix it (or doesn't see a problem), then it's only natural for one person to want out to try to find a way to be happy.

I do not believe for a second that it is a weakness or a selfish act to want to be happy...and, subsequently, trying to fix it when you aren't.

I say though we cannot hide behind it and claim it makes us better people...we do deserve credit for trying to make things better. You must be honest and see your faults clearly to have this be true- but i feel that if you make an effort to really imrpove yourself and make things better- if your partner will not go with you on this- you must then travel alone.

If only my prince charming would show up with my lost glass slipper...it would all be good....

Funny, even as a little girl, I saw Prince Charming as an ego-maniac...and he wasn't even that good looking...

But I understand your point, Cinderella...I just wonder if Prince Charmings are all that they are made out to be...

Well...my prince just gave my slipper to another

I can't even express to you how sad I am about this...

I keep thinking back to the GREAT one I had...the only one I care that I don't have...is it too much to ask for that one big fish?

Ok- its looking like I am heading back into the dating life. Can I PLEASE grow a brain this time and NOT pick the wrong guy?? Not pick the married one- or the unsexed one- or the self cntered one- or the one that will break my heart...my hope is to do better this time. Maybe I ought to line up a committee that has to approve whoever I pick.

A committe would be a great idea. However, I believe that all we have learned from good and bad decisions we have made in the past, will help us to make the correct decision while moving forward. I ventured back into the dating world and while not picture perfect, I have learned so much about who I am. That is very important to me. You tend forget yourself while with another for any period of time. Stay true to you, because in the end, that is your biggest critic of all time.

I think it might also be just about knowing when enough is enough. Its almost always fabulous at the start- all lovey dovey- everyones happy- things are perfect- thats why we commit to that relationship- then over time- things often change and sometimes you can fix them- and then you need to address the issues/things then so they dont get worse- but in other cases- I think its just knowing when the right time is to throw that fish back and try again...lol

I do agree about the staying true to yourself part...this is my greatest wish for the next time- that I dont get so immersed in the relationship that I lose sight of myself, of what I want, of my friends, of things that are important to me, etc. I have been guilty of this in the past and am going to try very hard to do better this next go round.

Hmmmm... Let me get back to you.

I'm still a believer in this plan. I am getting closer to the being alone part and I have to say I am truly half excited and half terrified. I am so afraid I will feel utterly alone. I need to be tough. I need to keep myself busy. I need to do things that are good for me and that I enjoy. I just need to believe it will all work out I guess- that is a start- and then I have to make it work out.