What do you do when things are so mixed up?

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What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  LonelyGirl on Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:27 am

I just do not know what to make of my situation. I am with a nice guy. He is nice to me mostly. He doesnt have any serious vices: he makes money, he has a job, a car, a house, etc. He is a good guy. BUT- He doesnt like to have sex. How do you decide what to do? Do I leave because of this? Do I stay and never again have sex? Do I have a fling? Do I learn better "self-help" techniques? I like him- he is a good guy- but this is an issue. WHAT DO I DO?
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Re: What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  RunawayTrain on Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:41 am

LG,
It is difficult, and sex may sound like a trivial thing, but here's the thing...no matter how much of a nice guy he is and no matter how much he may 'have it together', you don't seem happy. And, something tells me that this isn't the ONLY thing you don't see eye-to-eye on. Are there other things in your life that are important to you that he manages to squash or ridicule you for?

Your happiness should not be sacrificed.

RT
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Re: What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  LonelyGirl on Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:43 am

I just wish I didnt like him Crying or Very sad

and yes- many things in my life he makes light of.
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Re: What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  RunawayTrain on Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:48 am

LonelyGirl wrote:I just wish I didnt like him Crying or Very sad

and yes- many things in my life he makes light of.

Then he can't be so great...because THAT is a passive-aggressive control issue.
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Re: What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  EngineGirl22 on Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:03 am

LG,

Why sex may not be everything, run far, far, away now. Trust me! Good luck!
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Re: What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  LonelyGirl on Wed Jan 30, 2008 1:13 am

Engine I do agree with you to a point (more agree than not)

My plan right now is to work on myself and make myself a better, healthier person. When I am sorted out (for lack of a better term) I hope to be in the frame of mind to know what I want and be able to ask for it. Maybe if I improve , things will change, but if not- I do NOT see myself as being sexless by choice for the rest of my life.
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Update...

Post  LonelyGirl on Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:34 pm

Still the same. No sex...no kissing...no affection...and its been a long time. I do have a plan for my future but it is up in the air a bit. I hope things work out the way I want them to.

The weird part is that I used to be a very affectionate person with my boyfriend and now I cannot even imagine doing anything with him. I dont want to have sex with him anymore- we have truly gotten to the roommate status in the relationship I think.

And for those of you that say well just leave- it is not that easy...trust me.
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Re: What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  RunawayTrain on Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:21 pm

LonelyGirl,

I know it's not easy...thing is, and I told a VERY good friend of mine this today...no one can tell you how or when to make a move...you have to get to the point where YOU'RE ready for it.

And you will.
And it won't be easy.
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Re: What do you do when things are so mixed up?

Post  LonelyGirl on Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:53 pm

Train- first of all I know congratulations are in order here- so good on you as they said in NZ!!!!!

Second of all- you are correct- "when the time is right" is not the same for all of us- I totally agree. My worry is that I feel nothing sometimes...not anger or hurt or anything- just an acceptance that this is my lot in life. I am 20 lbs heavier- I am older- I am in a blah relationship where my other half's greatest excitement comes from food (and not food "on" another person- just food in general). This is my worry.

Maybe it can be blamed on my clothes? How bout that? Not my fault at all...just the fact that I wear boring clothes and just accept that I am in a frumpy stage- it must be out of my control...right? lol
Save me from myself oh prince charming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (If you can hear me from Georgia;))
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