I think I'm ready
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I think I'm ready
I think I am now ready to make a change in my life. Its been too long- I've hoped it would get better or that I could just grow to accept it as it is- but thats just not enough living for me. I will never be able to make my other half happy- and he will never be able to make me happy- it has finally sunk into my thick head. I have an exit strategy planned- hope it goes as planned.
GinAndBareIt- Posts : 146
Join date : 2007-12-21
Re: I think I'm ready
Gin...I hope it works out for you. Everyone deserves to be happy. It's that elusive thing we all search for. WE all want something...it's different for all of us. Some want a fancy car and house...some want kids...some want love...some want safety...some just want something not so bad...but we all have things we want. What I want is a person who actually loves ME. The real me...the one not so good...the one not so fun or happy...not so stable...not so confident...I want that person that can love me when I cry for no reason...when I need reassurance...the one who can sit with me and watch movies...or go hiking...or just hold me and tell me it will all be ok...I think I want the impossible. I am not sure this man exists. I have spent years trying to find him and each time I realize what I have is a farce or a fake or a fantasy...I dont have the man I think I have. Or I have one I want and he doesnt want me. I had one of those once...I had 4 chances and I blew them all...my fault...I do not intend to make that mistake again. If I ever get the chance again to be with the one I think is IT for me...I wont hesitate...no matter what. I will plunge ahead and hope later. You only get some chances once.
I think I need a friend with benefits about now. Someone to just fill a need for me. I want a companion. Someone to hold me, have sex with me, go places with me...they dont have to be the one...just good enough to fill a gap. I have been told I am a guys girl...not sure what this means other than I guess I am the girl guys like to play with but not take home and keep. Thats a sad state of things- but I hope one day to find the guy who says yup- this one works for me...this one rocks my world and I cant live without her. Thats my dream
I think I need a friend with benefits about now. Someone to just fill a need for me. I want a companion. Someone to hold me, have sex with me, go places with me...they dont have to be the one...just good enough to fill a gap. I have been told I am a guys girl...not sure what this means other than I guess I am the girl guys like to play with but not take home and keep. Thats a sad state of things- but I hope one day to find the guy who says yup- this one works for me...this one rocks my world and I cant live without her. Thats my dream
RomanceMe- Posts : 11
Join date : 2008-11-27
Re: I think I'm ready
Hi Romance. I am working on my plan for escape. I am a little afraid, its hard to make changes as big as this one. Sometimes it seems the one you have, though not so perfect beats having no one at all. I intend to try and rise above that. I intend to make myself a better person. I intend to make myself into the person I want to be. The one I see inside of me that I feel is stifled and can't come out. The one who is thin, fun, does cool things, helps people, works out, makes a difference and also makes money for themself. I want to be able to travel a bit, take care of myself and have a nice life. A life not dependant on a man. I'd love to share my life, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to depend on a man to make my life good or whole. If I can learn to be ok with myself, I will have done something. I will then be ready to share with another person and not lose myself in them. That is what I have done in the past. I become what they want and then one day wake up and realize I do not know who I am. I want to be me with a person who is their own me. Together we can make a whole without losing the essence of either of our souls.
GinAndBareIt- Posts : 146
Join date : 2007-12-21
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