Can you have it all?

I do wonder. My relationship is ok. I am friends with my partner- but there is no passion. I have had passion with others before- but was not always friends with them. My question is- can you have it both ways- or do you always lose out in one area?

That is a tough question. I think you CAN have it all- but the likely hood of that happening is slim.
I think that the best way to handle things is to become independent- be able to survive alone- so the decisions you make are not based on dependency.

If you can make decisions based on what you want- and not what you have to have- maybe they will be better ones.

Well Gin...what matters more to you...the relationship/friend part or the sexual part? I don't forsee you getting both at this time. I think you can have a friend- you have that now...or you will have to make a break- be brave- and search for someone that can be sexual and a friend. The risk here- is that you might not find it. It's a risk you must be willing to take.

I think many think they will find better-but in the end- they settle for something no better than what they had.You must be willing to really wait for the right thing- and know it may never come...and if that happens- you must be ok with that.

Okay, I have both...just not with the person I'm supposed to.

Train- do you think any of us REALLY have it? I wonder if it is REAL or if maybe it is in our mind and we have read too many romance novels...

Well, if feels real...in every aspect except for the part where I can't have him. SO, since this is something that won't ever really happen, THAT makes it VERY real.

As far as compatibility, attraction, love, lust and mutual respect, I can't imagine that it could be any better. However, if I had him on a full-time basis, I'd probably still be here...bitchin' about something else.

Okay, so may REAL never really does happen. Maybe we're all searching for something that doesn't truly exist.

My only comment here is to use past experience. I once dated a guy while I was trying to extract myself from a relationship- I dont actually consider it cheating- because the guy I was with I had told that I didnt like him- I wanted to seperate- etc- so I feel like my bases were covered. Well- I met a guy and we dated- and he knew I was with another guy- well it was great for a while- but the day I split for real with the regular guy- things all changed with the "other" guy (maybe not that day- but it seemed like it) anyway- my point here is in some cases the thing is different in the situation than it might be in the real world. You are always on when you see them. Its never just anyday- or a bad day- you dont get the crap- the problems- the hangups- you dont have to pick up their dirty clothes- or deal with them doing gross things-

Im not saying it wont be great- or this is not the guy- Im just saying do not deceive yourself into thinking it is all good- though maybe your situation is the exception

I'm revisiting the idea of "Can you have it all?"
I still have no better answer. I just cannot see a solution to my situation. It wouold be so much easier if I disliked my partner. I really do wish he saw it like I did...and saw that romantically its not a match-but as friends- we are good. I know from the time we "broke up" for 2 days he went totally the other way- he mentally split from me like we were enemies. It was really quite a schock! That is my concern- I know we cant be friends still...though we are really just that. A sexless relationship is a friendship...right??

I think you CAN have it all.There is always a priceto pay though.

Cinderella,
I think I agree...but there's always a price to pay for everything...isn't there?

RT