Is this love?

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Is this love?

Post  MissBehav'n on Sun Dec 23, 2007 1:59 am

So what do you think love is?
Everyone I know falls in love and then they fall out of love. Are people meant to stay together for long periods of time? I know they used to in the old days, but what about now? Why do so many relationships end in divorce?
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Re: Is this love?

Post  GinAndBareIt on Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:23 pm

I wish I had a good answer for you, but I don't. Maybe they either pick the wrong people or people only have a specific relationship shelf life and when it spoils, it spoils.

Anyone have a better answer?
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Re: Is this love?

Post  RunawayTrain on Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:37 pm

I think love means different things to different people so it's not an easy word to define. I do think it exists and for long periods of time. There are even monkeys in the wild who mate with the same partner for life...of course, they also pick the dingleberries and headmites off of each other regularly...and if THAT isn't love, then WHAT is!!

A wise woman used to say the following to me about love:
1. There is a lid for every pot.
2. Love: it's an itch you can't scratch.
3. True love is hard to find so if you find yourself in it, do everything you can to hold on to it because your next chance at it, might be a long ways a way.

I love you
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Re: Is this love?

Post  GinAndBareIt on Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:37 pm

I think I agree that it's an itch...but I think sometimes you scratch it and it stops itching and you have to move on to a new itch... Laughing
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Re: Is this love?

Post  AskTheMagic8Ball on Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:57 am

Is this love?


The Magic 8 Ball says..."Without a Doubt."
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Re: Is this love?

Post  Pony Boy on Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:51 pm

Love: a level at which selfish desire (broad stroke) is fulfilled by another person.

People are incredibly selfish. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but realize that we don’t involve ourselves in anything that doesn’t produce a strong dividend in the end or even along the way. What’s in it for me, right? Our 1st stage in a relationship is so amazing because both parties are paying the other partner the highest possible yield on their investment – can’t beat high return, right? Why do we fall in love with falling in love at all? Because we’re about to get stuff - emotional, physical and material stuff – a nice load of LOVE (see prior definition). As time passes, a few things happen. The payout remains the same and both parties are happy with this and live happily ever after – not typical. For others, the payout remains the same, however the payout value is no longer equal to what it once was. Your partner may be experiencing the same woes, look out (enter our good friend: spite - not good). Sometimes we even convince ourselves that the payout is more than we deserve or that waiting it out on a shitty investment will pay an unimaginable benefit, which are both wrong theories. So look at it this way – if you’re investment is returning shit, think about keeping the account but shifting your funds within the account. Poor account management leads to poor account performance. If things don’t change you have no option but to dump it and move on.

I just smoked about a pound of hash... hope that made sense. jocolor
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Re: Is this love?

Post  GinAndBareIt on Tue Jan 01, 2008 9:31 pm

Pony Boy- you are good!
But help me a little on this part...

So look at it this way – if you’re investment is returning shit, think about keeping the account but shifting your funds within the account. Poor account management leads to poor account performance. If things don’t change you have no option but to dump it and move on.
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Re: Is this love?

Post  RunawayTrain on Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:13 am

I think Pony Boy is saying...make some adjustments within the relationship...BEFORE you decide to bail.

Relationships are about growing together and being flexible...


And, it is so easier to type that last sentence than it is to actually practice it. Sad
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Re: Is this love?

Post  GinAndBareIt on Wed Jan 02, 2008 1:10 am

well- i just got screamed out in such a way I wonder how one gets over it. When another person says such awful things to you that you cant even believe it- what do you do?
My thought right now is def. make a change in my life. I guess maybe I will sleep on it and see what tomorrow looks like.
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Re: Is this love?

Post  Pony Boy on Wed Jan 02, 2008 2:12 am

Wow... personally... I would take off... nothing is worth that.

Go stay at a hotel to "sleep on it".
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Re: Is this love?

Post  Pony Boy on Wed Jan 02, 2008 2:39 am

... and, Runaway... you have a point – it IS easier to type than act. But the comparison to money does speak volumes. My point is, of course to try and work shit out before throwing in the towel. With all their might, people struggle to keep their material and monetary factions of life in perfect order. How hard do they try to keep their relationship (love interest or family) in such faultless order? The point of the money contrast is also to demonstrate how quick to react to poor conditions. We won’t hesitate even a second to remedy material or monetary setbacks, but we do put-off solutions to our personal problems for far too long. If someone is loved at one time and now the love is in question, it should actually be pretty easy to determine if things are salvageable.
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Re: Is this love?

Post  RunawayTrain on Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:50 pm

Pony Boy,
I mostly agree with you but emotions and relationships are not quite as cut and dry as finances and money. If you have a bill, you pay it. With people, you can't always rely on getting the result that YOU want. You hope, but you don't know...it's just not cookie cutter.


P.S. Oh, and Pony Boy, tell Soda Pop that Cherry Valance is looking for his fine ass...
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Re: Is this love?

Post  GinAndBareIt on Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:28 pm

About "Love" from Wikipedia:
According to philosophers, the only goal of life is to be happy. And there is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. Love is essentially an abstract concept, much easier to experience than to explain.
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Re: Is this love?

Post  RunawayTrain on Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:17 am

GinAndBareIt wrote:About "Love" from Wikipedia:
According to philosophers, the only goal of life is to be happy. And there is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. Love is essentially an abstract concept, much easier to experience than to explain.


"I second that emotion..."
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divorce

Post  piscesloveromance on Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:48 pm

I think the reason that marriages end now has to do with the culture. In my grandparent's time people had to stay together even if they didn't want to because they were expected to by society. Another big factor was that in a time of depression the focus was on finding a way to provide for the physical necessities of the family and so people had much less time to consider their happiness in their marriage. Put simply, people may have stayed together more for a better chance of survival. I do think that many people stayed together in this time for the sake of love, I am only considering why divorce/separation was less common.

Then the 60's happened. The feel good era. This was the beginning of a big culture change in this country and I think it has been a large part of the shift in society's view and acceptance of divorce. People now began to hear that if they're not entirely happy, they could do what they wanted to make themselves happy.

These thoughts are the very tip of the iceberg of my feelings onthe subject. I'll stop here because I don't wish to write an essay in response to your question. I hope I've helped in some way.

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Re: Is this love?

Post  LonelyGirl on Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:14 pm

I would say security is a huge reason people stay together. They also don't make a change often times until they have an alternate situation Cool
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Re: Is this love?

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